Why Building Something Real Feels Like Breaking and Becoming On Repeat
What no one tells you about the emotional journey of building something great
I first saw this chart—The Emotional Journey of Creating Anything Great—years ago when I was still in corporate building products for advisors and investors. At the time, it felt insightful. It mapped the creative process in a way that made sense: the early excitement, the inevitable friction, the discouraging middle, and the satisfying launch.
But now?
Now I’m building my own business.
Now I know the chart is wrong—or at least, incomplete.
That “dark swamp of despair” isn’t a quiet little dip in the road.
It’s a roller coaster.
A chaotic, jarring, emotional loop of belief and doubt, of vision and fear.
And I’m not the only one who feels it. The advisors I serve — especially the ones who are bravely breaking away from captive firms to build independent practices — they’re on this same ride, too.
Say it with me: It’s Not a Valley. It’s a Rollercoaster.
There are days in this journey when I feel totally clear. I know the value I’m offering. I can see the impact I’m having. I think, “Yes—this is working.”
And then, just hours later, something doesn’t land, a client doesn’t convert, a proposal falls flat—and suddenly I’m spiraling.
“Am I cut out for this?”
“Did I just make a rookie mistake?”
“Am I putting my family at risk by not getting this right?”
This week was one of those weeks. Even in the midst of amazing conversations with prior clients loving life and current clients looking forward, I felt a setback.
I gave a potential client my best thinking, even creating comp plans for his team and spreadsheet after spreadsheet of analysis. It felt generous and aligned. But it didn’t turn into a paid engagement. And even though I know better, it left me questioning everything: my pricing, my instincts, my ability to build something sustainable.
And I see this in the advisors I work with, too.
When they leave a big firm and strike out on their own, they’re not just building a business. They’re building a new identity. And that comes with emotional whiplash.
“This is the best decision I’ve ever made.”
“What if I made a huge mistake?”
“I finally feel free.”
“I’ve never felt more exposed.”
They think it’s just them—but it’s not.
This is what building something real feels like.
What Saves Us Isn’t Certainty. It’s Our People.
In the original chart, there’s a little bridge over the swamp.
It’s labeled: Belief. Persistence. Family. Humor.
It’s not a new software tool or sales funnel (though that might be needed also) that gets you through the hard middle. It’s your people. The ones who remind you who you are. The ones who hold the vision when you’ve temporarily lost it. The ones who make you laugh when you’d rather cry.
For me, I have my generous spouse who reminds me that always apply what I learn. It’s my closest clients who share their struggles and joys. It’s the small but mighty inner circle that reminds me I’m not crazy for doing this.
For my advisor clients, they rely on spouses, team members, mentors, and many other advisors who’ve walked the road and can say, “Yep. I’ve been there. Keep going.”
This Is the Work
What I’ve learned (what I keep learning) is that the messy middle isn’t a detour.
The low points teach us how to price, how to protect our energy, how to serve without self-sacrifice.
The emotional roller coaster isn’t a sign we’re failing.
It’s a sign we’re in it - heart, mind and soul.
That’s true for me.
That’s true for the advisors I serve.
That’s probably true for you, too.
If you’re in the valley or on the rollercoaster, you’re not alone.
If you’ve made a rookie mistake or questioned your whole business model before 10 am, welcome to the club.
You’re not broken.
You’re becoming.
This is what it looks like to build something great.
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Author: Shelby Nicholl. I help advisors build something great. If you’re ready to break-away and create a bold new firm aligned with your values, your value proposition and your clients, send a text or schedule with us.
